NEW XANGA

http://www.xanga.com/xmrschainsawx

Get with it you fucking cunts.

My brother hit me in the face last night.

Kim was coming over and I had already told him that she was. He saw headlights in the driveway and pointed at the window. I said, "It's Kim......" and he RAN to the fucking door, so i got up and walked behind him. I was like "Karim, let me get by so I can tell her I am not spending the night at her house tonight." and he wouldn't let me through. I said "KARIM!!! LET ME GET THROUGH! I HAVE TO TELL HER I CANT SPEND THE NIGHT TONIGHT!" and he stood right in the front of the door. Kim was already out of her car so he knew that it was her and no one else. I was like "GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!" And he tried to elbow me...but i caught it. As i was holding his arm, he extended the rest of it and backhanded me in the nose. I was like "I  WILL FUCK YOUR WORLD UP!" And I was about to hit him back. But I kinda thought about it...and I was thinking, "dad said you are out of this house if you hit me...so yeah....get ready. The shit is about to hit the fucking fan." I was about to walk back up the stairs to go get my dad and he GRABBED MY FUCKING ARM...like he knew what i was about to do and did not want me to do it. He wouldn't let me go. I screamed "DAD!!!!!!!" (yes, all the exclamation points were necessary).

He let me go. I went up the stairs, woke my dad up, and told him exactly what happened. He said "I'll be right there."

I looked at Karim and smiled as i walked by because I could tell he was fucking scared. My dad came out and by this point, kim was already inside. Dad says "KARIM! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO???" Karim says, "SHE SAID FUCK! NO ONE EVER SAYS FUCK TO ME! SHE SAID FUCK!!" I think he knew he had to come up with some sort of bullshit because he knows my dad hates it when i curse. Well, fuck that.

My dad was like "No matter what she says- YOU NEVER FUCKING HIT HER!!"

Karim gets all up in my dad's face...

My dad says "Oh, you wanna hit me?" and karim said "Maybe" and my dad said "Karim...try it. Try me. please." And Karim didn't do it. So then my dad pushes Karim and tells him to get the fuck out of the house. Karim goes to his room and picks up a bag he already had packed from a previous time he was supposed to get kicked out of the house (AND WAS ALLOWED BACK IN). He puts it by the door. Well, dad goes back to his room. Karim comes back in the house and starts watching television. I look at Kim and i'm like "WHAT THE FUCK???" Kim says "UHhhhhhhhhhhhhh........." It was really an akward moment!

So i go back to my dad's room and say "DAD! He is watching TV. I didn't do anything. He hit me in the face. COME ON!" and my dad said "I thought he already left." I was like "What the hell? NO! HES WATCHING TV!" He says "I'll be right there."

My dad never came out.

Kim comes back to my room. We're talking about how fucking stupid my family is...

Karim knocks on my door and my dad sees him from his room. He says to Karim, "KARIM! Leave her alone. Go lay down."

??????????????????????????????

He knocks again and says "I just wanna tell her I'm sorry."

I say "Whaaaaaaaaaat?" and he says "I'm sorry" and I was like "Yeah okay, do you feel better? fuck you."

He walks away.

My dad said "Karim, leave her alone. Go lay down"
But what i heard was: "Karim, don't worry about it. It's okay for you to hit your sister in the face. If you do it again, i'll just tell you that you're going to get kicked out but you really aren't. So don't worry about it. Who's my favorite little boy? YOU ARE! YESH YOU ARE! YESH YOU ARE!!!"

That's what I heard.

Fuck this family.

Seriously.

I don't give a damn.

I explained to Kim what LOVE really meant. I told her that to me- when I love someone...it KILLS me to think about what would happen if they died. I can't even take it. Like if someone that i loved DIED, I wouldn't be able to go on. I love Kimbo. I love my friends. I love Punky. I love my mom. There are more people i love...but seriously- you get the point.

I mean....I don't love Karim. I really don't. If he died...I don't think i'd give a shit.

My parents just have this WEIRD thing about Karim...

It's like, they have spent so much time, money, effort, and tears to keep him alive.

So they cherish his life more than mine.

Fuck that.

Fuck this house.

fuck this family.

Fuck it.

And I try talking to my dad about it today. And all he could keep doing was telling me that one day Kim is going to vanish and i'm never going to see her again. I was like "What the fuck??? HELLO!!! WRONG SUBJECT! WE'RE CURRENTLY TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU'RE A LOSER AND YOU CAN'T DO YOUR JOB!"

He's like "Kim is going to leave once she turns 18....and she'll call you in a few years...just to see how you're doing. But she's going to VANISH from here." I was like "Uhhhhhhh...apparently you're a little unaware of my friendship with Kim." He says, "watch...then what the hell are you going to do?" I was like " Yes, my life revolves around Kim. Anyhow...I think you need to start thinking about your situation." He says, "My situation?" and I said, "Yeah....and mine" and he said "What do you mean?" I said, "I'm the one who's going to vanish. I'll keep contact with the people that care about me and the people i care about. But you won't be seeing me for a long time" He says "And then you'll come back once you need some money." And I said "Oh! haha, like Karim? the 22 year old that didn't even want to celebrate your birthday with you that you have LIVING IN YOUR HOUSE...FOR FREE! He pays nothing. Haha, good luck dealing with him forever. When you and mom die...and he has no where to go. I'm going to WATCH him die on the streets."

Fucked up?
I DONT GIVE A SHIT!

fuck this family.

So I have this excruciatingly bad ass livejournal that is FRIENDS ONLY.

I decided to make one post that was public.

Someone commented...anonymously and all they put was this:

Haha, really weird. I hate how I feel like I should know who it is. That kind of bugs me. Oh well.

So I deleted the entire post out of pure confusion.

I tried to help Kim with some sort of project last night but...no dice.

We realized that the project called for a fictional book. And I was over there like "okay, dude...Animal Liberation by Peter Singer. The activist's BIBLE....here we go." I was no help. Some black dude was walking past Kim's car at a gas station and he stared into the car and gave her the worst look ever. That could have been because she was biting her steering wheel.

I love that girl.

In a very homosexual way.

My dad called me a homosexual yesterday. I was like "hey hey hey...that's not very nice." It made me laugh however I don't believe that's very cool. Don't worry- I'm not going to go on one of my infamouse rants about this one.

So let's move along!

My teeth hurt. I went to the orthodonist yesterday. So this morning, I sit in front of the TV in my PJs while rubbing my gums (it helps. trust me. I slobbered all over the place. But the initial task was very effective). I turn on the television and I start watching the new Made. The episode where that chick wants to be turned into a prom queen (and eventually...does get turned into the prom queen). So I'm watching and I say to myself "She seems like a great catch." Then I hear her walking up to people saying "HEY! what the fuck is up? Don't fucking run your mouth! RAWRRAWRRRR" So then I continued to say, "She is a great catch." Then I see her straight edge shirt and I say to myself "I might have to marry her." No, actually I didn't say that. I just kept calling her a "bad ass mother fucker" (a bamf, if you will) and laughed throughout the whole show. Especially when i realized that I own almost every shirt she wore throughout the entire thing. T-shirt that is...Not the frilly pink shit she was wearing towards the end. However- I did go to the Body Shop and buy a real spectacular hot pink shirt that was on sale. I spend too much money on clothes/glammy items these days. Seriously.

Macys- Jeans and a black tank top

The Body Shop- 3 shirts

Victoria Secret- $44

Bath and Body Works- $30

Victoria Secret lotion shit- $11 (Buy three for $11. No shit. Check that junk out. It's rad.)

Express- The whole fucking store.

It's ridiculous.

I've bought so many Xmas gifts for people. Be pumped. Be happy. I'm excited to watch you open them and see that look of glee on your faces.

Anyhow- I suppose that is all. I'm pretty bored. Hang out tonight? Who's with me?

That's right.

Call my ass.

-Zaheener Weiner

For those of you who know me-

You know how anti-relient K I am....was?

I don't know what made me want to put their song on my xanga. I was listening to it and I thought to myself, "That's actually pretty good."
Maybe I'm just in need for a change.

And not to sound all tough-girl on you guys-

But I certainly have no listened to anything quite this poppy (and liked it) in a while.

My father said I had to clean my room or I wouldn't be able to go to Alkaline Trio. How freaking stupid is that? I feel like I'm 10. Maybe if I cleaned my room every once in a while I wouldn't be in these sticky situations. There's a new movie coming out. It's supposed to be "scary." I'm going to go see it. And everyone knows I HATE scary movies. But HELLO. Look who's in it:

Yeah, if that isn't a reason to see this movie-

I don't know what is.

I'm pretty much obsessed with that guy. Ha! No shit.

Anyhow- I was taking out the pit of an avocado today. I decided to try something new and stick the tip of the knife right into the pit and turn it. Well, my hand slipped, when through the avocado, and stabbed my hand. I was scared more than anything else. I just kept picturing the knife going straight through my hand. I dropped the knife and screamed real loud. My brother stared at me and said "what the fuck did you do?" I was like "MY HAND!!!!!" haha...he was like, "Dude, it's not even a flesh wound. Shut up."

I overreacted. But I was scared. Knives = not a good time

I also changed the song on zaheenSPACE. haha

I love me some Queen. Yeah, that's right. And just to be a fucking asshole:
I didn't listen to them when they decided to sell Queen shirts at "THE TOPIC" as you fuckers so ridiculously call it. I grew up listening to Queen. LOUD.....I was in my fucking crib while my dad BLASTED that shit. So yeah. fuck you.

Haha, i love that.

People always think i'm so serious when I say shit like that. It's awesome.

Speaking of THE TOPIC...haha

Kim and myself took a little trip to Arbor Place yesterday. I was like "THE BLACK PEOPLE HERE ARENT  EVEN BLACK! I AM BLACKER THAN THE BLACK PEOPLE HERE!"

I walked out the mall and said "I'm so happy we work in Atlanta, Kim. These people are ridiculous."

I was real intense. Oh well.

I give props to any girl that can keep a guy on a leash. It's a real hard thing to do but when you do it-

I think it's pretty flippin sweet.

So yeah, congrats. You got it down.

Especially when the guy isn't even allowed to talk to a girl on the freaking phone that he USED to like.

That's crazy.

The guy has to lie about it and shit. Wow. I should probably hit this girl up and get some pointers or something.

But then again- I'd need a guy to practice on.

And in reality- I don't have time for that sort of thing. I got a lot going on that doesn't inable me to find a guy, latch onto his leg, and make sure he never talks to antoher girl as long as he lives.

Yeah sorry-

As awesome as it might seem-

It's real pathetic.

So moving right along-

Some force of nature is pushing me back into my room so I can clean it.

I'll hit you guys up later.

Love!

"When you're not in love, everyone you know falls in love. Even retarded people in your neighborhood are getting married in their front lawn. Inanimate objects are laying together, your laundry is laying together in a very loving...denim lovefest. I finally figured out what it feels like- Here's what it feels like when you don't have love. It's like a party is going on and everyone was invited expect for YOU. And you just happen to be walking by that house in the rain. But then again- once you're in love..it's like being at that party saying 'WHERE'S MY JACKET? I WANNA GET OUTTA HERE! I'VE BEEN AT THIS PARTY SIX YEARS AND I WANNA SEE OTHER PARTIES!'"

Here is my little entry about love. Ya know those ridiculous little things girls put on their myspaces or xangas in which they go on rants about some shit like "EVERYTHING I WANT IN A GUY!"

Yeah, you guys know what i'm talking about. I know you do. I knowww you do.

See you run across those little "fifteen million things I want in a guy" lists and think "OH! I WANT THAT TOO! SHE KNOWS! YES!!! ME TOO!! ME TOO!"
You want that? yeah, who the fuck doesn't?
I read it and I think "Oh my god...someone spent so much fucking time making that. GET A JOB!"

I guess that's real hypocritical since I am delaying getting ready for my own job to talk about people who need to get a job. haha, ridiculous.

And another thing! All you girls that like certain bands because some guy said it was the right thing to do. COME ON! "Oh, I gotta give it a chance for him! I love him." oh my god, if any guy had a brain, they'd punch you in the face just for saying that. I believe some guy once said "I don't hit girls. But i hit bitches." Hit a bitch! haha, sometimes they deserve it. Hit me and i'll fuck your world up. But damn...it's preposterous! I for one have been listening to madball, misfits, bad brains, uniform choice, 7 seconds...shit like that..for the most part of my greater existance. A guy did not tell me to listen to them and if he did, i do believe i'd punch him in the mouth. As far as I can see, I listen to better music than most guys I come across anyways.

Anyhow- the way I see it is everyone I know who is "in love," is not genuinly happy. I really believe that most people at our age are too simple to know what true love is. I wish I knew, really...

I really do.

I've been in situations where I was like "Man, this is it. I'm in love. YES!"
but let's be serious, girls-

If you cry every time the mother fucker is around-

You're not really in love, are you?

Just about every girl wants the same thing; just as just about every guy wants the same thing. Girls are more complex emotionally which makes it easier for us to get emotionally attached and assume we are in love.

I mean, people just don't get it. I'm not talking physics here...i'm talking life. You're living it..you should try to understand it. Here's a fun fact- If the guy is a drinker, drug addict, or a bank robber...and you're "in love" with him...and you encourage him to do those things- YOU ARE NOT IN LOVE.

END OF STORY.

Because if you were really in love- you would not encourage him to do something that is harmful to his body and mind...and soul.

See what I'm getting at? Maybe my vision of what love is is completely different than your's. But it SHOULDN'T be. That's my point.

SCENARIO:

Say you're parents are really in love. Also say that you are driving past a couple who is walking down the street with their child. Say they are really in love as well.

THE TRUTH:
It's the same thing. Your parents love and that other couple's love is the same thing. One is not more in love than the other. Love is just...there. It's that unspoken completeness. If you're mom doesn't get a glow on her face EVERY FUCKING TIME she hears the garage door open, she is not in love. If your dad still doesn't get that...that sense of COMPLETENESS when your mom comes into the room...he is not in love.

Yes the infatuation phase will wear away. But love does not wear away.

Love is an unspoken completeness. Where you say to yourself "There's no where else I'd rather be." And you don't even have to TALK to the person. You can communicate without saying a word. That's fucking love.

Love is not someone text messaging you in the morning to say he hopes you had a great night's sleep.

Love is not someone saying "Hey! Just called to say i love ya!"

Love is not someone coming over to see you at random.

Why is it not these things? Because those things could be lies. The unspoken completeness is not a lie. It's impossible to lie about that. Because it's a feeling. And feelings don't lie.

Just figured i'd mention that.

OFM reunion show tonight. I'm gonna try so hard to get there.

I want to go BAD.

OFM used to be my favorite.

OFM is love.

haha

-zaheen

PS- Words of advice for all the males:
When you kiss a girl for the first time- keep your tongue out of her fucking mouth. It turns me off...i'm not sure about everyone else. But yeah, it's a big turn off to me. It's gross. It makes me think, "where else has your tongue been, nasty?" And that's not a charming way to look back on a first kiss. Because if that's how the first kiss goes- there will not be a second one.

PSS- I had a dream last night. Brendon Cowler, I thought I forgot about that shit. But now I remember. "Draw me a picture." I try to talk about you as much as I can. I don't want anyone to forget about you. I'll make sure they don't. It's just hard. The ones that know you don't live here and the ones that live here aren't really....here. I don't know. That dream brightened up my day. Today will be good because of you.